Dear mom and dad,

This is my letter to my parents I wish the world would listen to

Dear parents,

Thank you for all that you did. I wish you hadn't sacrificed so much, and had had more time and money to do things you enjoy. I wish that the housing we had access to had been more qualitative, and I know that this is not your fault. Thank you dad, for protecting me. I am sorry I hurt you with th white gaze. I know that you weren't abusive, you were loving, kind and gentle, and that the white boys chasing your daughter drove you insane. You didn't know how to have that conversation. I am sorry dad for the hurt that constantly being criticized and not sleeping did to you. You got no peace, and still don't. You have spent your entire life overworked and being told that you weren't good enough, because you spoke too loudly, or more harshly because of your accent. I am sorry for how you have been spoken to your entire life. I know how hard you have worked to protect your children, especially your daughter, I am grateful for that. Coloured with a toxic white feminist gaze, how were we ever supposed to enjoy our time and change. No help, no support, and only judgement and criticism. We took care of you, you left us in abject poverty over and over again despite how much we worked, So now the solution is to work less, live with less, because making more just led to an unimaginable hell.

For mom, mom I wish I had stayed at home more with you, that I had enjoyed your cooking more, that I had listened to you when you said that the boys weren't worth it. Ignoring the romantic and sexual attention and listening to you, would have spared me so much heartbreak and violence. I had a good mom, I love her. I have a mom who survived through the stuff her daugther put her through. I am sorry I got angry with you, I am sorry I hurt you, I am sorry for every fight and argument that led to your unseen tears. I wish I had respected my own family. Rejecting you became easier, at school talking positively about myself and my heritage was an issue, one that continued into my adulthood. The only thing we needed was gentle supports at home to show us what to do, and help us out once in while to reduce the isolation, to remind us to sit down for a cup of tea.